Do you have a nurturer’s heart? Do you find yourself going out of your own way to help somebody you don’t even know? Are you the one who always knows the best advices for your friends? If yes, than you are what some call a nurturer.
Being a nurturer is a gift not given to everybody. You have the ability to uplift others. People seek nurturers out because they have the ability to ease their pain. Your comforting words and unrelenting compassion can lighten up anyone’s load.
You know you’re a nurturer if it’s easy for people to open up to you their best kept secrets even if they hardly know you.
They might even wonder why they are so open with you. You are the first person your friends call every time a crisis in their life comes up.
While the nurturer’s gift is essential for human beings to survive, tending to the needs of other people may lead you to forget your own needs.
And you know what happens when you neglect yourself to help others, right? You end up helping no one.
If you don’t know how to manage your nurturer’s heart you’ll get depleted of energy before you even know it. You’ll be experiencing constant fatigue, sadness, maybe even depression in some more serious cases. This is the downside of not properly managing your energy.
Losing your inner balance creates havoc in yourself and even to the lives of others who are looking up to you.
To avoid facing this dilemma, you must know that you’re a human being who has also your own needs to be met. Cater to your own needs first.
However, we know that for a nurturer, helping other people is a source of emotional energy.
So, we’ll let you know 5 ways you can help others without draining your energy.
1. Create boundaries for helping others and honor them.
Helping others is great until it becomes an addiction that makes you feel great but is ultimately draining you from the inside.
What you need to know is that you can’t be the savior of everybody. That’s why you need to create personal boundaries that will keep you within the limit of your helping energy.
Your boundaries will keep you in a healthy energy spending mode. By being addicted to helping others you’re not only draining your energy and hurting yourself, but you are also encouraging others not to stand on their own two feet.
2. Help for the sake of helping.
Do not let yourself be carried away by other people’s constant bombardment of gratitude. Even though it feels really good, helping for the sake of compliments can be destructive.
Help not to gain something, but for the sake of helping itself. This will keep you in a healthy rhythm.
Just because you give your all to help others, it does not mean you are a good person. If this is your belief, you’re setting yourself up to feel guilty every time you can’t be there for others. Find your true worth from inside and not in the numbers of people you have helped.
3. For every person you help show two times more love for yourself.
For every person you go out of your own way to help, do two nice things for yourself. This ratio will not let you to get your emotional energy depleted, no matter how many people you help. And know that sometimes it’s ok to take a break.
Stop believing that taking a needed break means doing it at the expense of other people. Your gift is to take care of people, including yourself. Especially yourself. By taking a loving care of yourself you will be able to take even better care of other people.
So, don’t neglect yourself in the process. Cater to your own needs more.
4. Learn the real definition of a nurturer.
Being a nurturer doesn’t equate with being a martyr. You can show love and care to others without sacrificing yourself. Being a nurturer means care and protection, not sacrifice.
When the strings of sacrifice are attached, it shows an unhealthy form of love. Because if this is the case, there’s already a parasitic relationship between you and the people you help. And it’s not their fault, it’s how you introduce yourself to them.
You can love and take care of others without crippling them or yourself in the process.
5. Learn who deserves your care.
A healthy nurturer knows how to nourish themselves while nourishing others. This means you need to ask help from others when you need to.
Real nurture means love flowing both ways. As you help and care for others know how to replenish your energy.
Be smart about who you help, see who will be there for you when you need help. The ones who don’t show up to return your nurture are the ones who don’t deserve your care.
Be A Healthy Nurturer:
Sharing yourself, talents, and resources with the world is good only when it’s under your capability. But if the demands are beyond what you can offer, you should learn to say no.
You don’t have all the power to solve everybody’s problems.
Most of all, your real identity does not depend on constantly having someone to take care of.
You can deeply and fully love and care for others, but don’t forget to show profound love and care for yourself as well.
Source: this article was originally written in July 12, 2018 and published on lifecoachcode